Kazakhstan’s Other Favourite Son(s)... Well, Sort Of...
 
When I ask you to name the number one celebrity hailing from the nation of Kazakhstan, only one name springs to everyone’s mind, right? Come on, let’s all say it together; one… two… three… Korky Buchek!
…
 
Oh… So just me, then?

A tempered callousness is all that the room required,
before I bowed and finally wriggled in my seat.

Could it be that we created an alternate reality without realising
it,
or is that a rose-coloured view through the eyes of a child?

Your eyes say "you missed the punch line of the joke",
but the sigh that follows feels out of place
and I can't quite pick which is the imposter.

I smile, glaze over my eyes and act oblivious;
let you pull me off of the pedestal that I built for myself. 

--

​White crests
Screaming calls
Wild animals
Of the great outdoors.
Long beaks or white wings
Sorting through rubbish
Or eating seeds in a field.
 
Around the only lake
I lounge,
On a picnic rug
I hear a sound
Those bin juice drinking birds
I hear
Screech and chirp
On a twiggy island
Not too far from here.

​This was written last Wednesday the 11th of November, 2020.
 
Today I did my first dance class since covid locked down Victoria. I danced in an actual studio with actual people for the first time in 35 weeks! That’s 245 days! I danced in the same class that I began four years ago, before my university degree, and to be completely honest it felt like the biggest hug! At a time when hugs are now few and far between, I think my body and brain have been reacting to things that bring me joy in the same way that hugs make you feel all warm, fuzzy and grateful inside. I now associate the feelings elicited from a hug with all the precious things I get to enjoy now that lockdown has ended. It was surreal to move freely around a studio and express through movement without getting injured on furniture or accidentally slipping on the kitchen tiles; because yes, for the past 30 or so weeks, sporadically, I’ve been dancing, as many of my other friends have been also, at home. 

It’s the year 1935- you’ve just returned home after a day spent raking through crates full of shellac records. After paying, you rush back home, careful not to drop your newest fragile possession. Ever so cautiously, you pull the glossy, black record out of its sleeve and place it on your turntable. Its spins swiftly as the paper-thin needle slowly makes it’s decent, gracing the surface with an ever-so-soft crackle as the song begins…

Find something that gives you that feeling of freedom. This last month, for me it's been running. I am not usually a person who enjoys running and at the start I was running for 1 min then walking for 30 seconds, only completing 3 rounds before trudging home a little defeated. But I stuck it out and surprisingly I think I have become hooked. Hooked on the adrenaline, the wind on my face and the sweat afterwards. Excited to collate a playlist that will instil the right level of motivation and a mind that obsesses over most things but miraculously clears itself of anything and everything as soon as my feet hit the pavement. Yeah, I may only be running 1-3km at a time, but after a long day back at work in hospitality, running seems to give me that release I need to put what happened in the day behind me. So, find something that works for you. With everyone's routine returning to a different level of 'normal' in the coming weeks, acknowledge that things sometimes have to change, and that is ok. With all this anticipation and change occurring here is a short poem.

​Since lockdown ceased in my suburb of Melbourne, I have realised the one thing that was hiding. The one aspect of life that had quietly been cut off and making me feel slightly off, but not knowing why. Noise. Background sound. You know, the life sounds of things happening around you. I arrived in the area I'm now living in halfway through lockdown, when restrictions were first wound back, before the second wave. I arrived to an extra quiet street that now is booming with sound, and I couldn't be more comforted by it. The beats from the café music nearby, the sound of more traffic, the light chatter of people walking and kids playing at parks. All this noise has a familiar lull that I didn't know I was missing until now. It has also reminded me of the sensitivity to sound that allows us as humans to express and channel our emotions. Our ability to connect in this way as sound begins to travel throughout Melbourne with each passing day of zero cases. A celebration of sound. As this continues remember to be kind and attentive to people as these changes happen within our society. Remember that sensitivity is an asset.

 I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME’s (aka iDKHOW) coy bewitchment of anachronism in their debut album ‘Razzmatazz’ is nothing short of the most wonderful nightmare.
Running with the threads of Dallon Weekes’ retired band The Brobecks – which released a delightful handful of EP’s and one full LP throughout the years of 2003 to 2011 –  Weekes’ newest brain child oozes tempestuous nods to a more analog reality, yet still maintains a stronghold in the world of modern pop. Sporting colourful synths, vaudeville theatrics and the occasional saxophone; Razzmatazz is begging you to lose yourself in its comforting nostalgia.

Every avocado I've picked and purchased since July this year has mostly been shit. You know the type, brown and soggy on the inside kind of shit that leaves you sad, slightly mad at the supermarket and wondering why you spent the three dollars at all. Clearly, I just can't pick a good one; or I'm out of luck. Yeah, it may sound like I'm a winging millennial who just wants to eat brunch and have an iced latte, but don't discount me yet. Honestly, though, I think that may have been the catalyst for a few other bad, well maybe not bad, but questionable choices I've made since then. But my intention this week is not to bore you with my adult life questions that are on the verge of realising that I've been obsessing over my career goals since I finished high school, but to mostly remind myself, amongst the celebration of being released from lockdown, that not everything has to be perfect, or return to the way it was. After all, there's been a pandemic. Correction, there is still a pandemic, and things will forever be different to the way they were.

Verse 1
Rolling out of bed at 6am
Checked my phone now I regret 
Your soul it filled up my head
As the tears begin to shed
Forget about the plans we had made
As my being it starts to break
On your way to the pearly gates
Don’t try to tell me it’s okay

inhale the stale smoky haze
cold matts the lungs’ branches wrung dry into ashen summer snowfall
disconnected delirium as embers dismember limbs of life
an undercurrent sweeping a nation weeping tears
evaporate to the melting glow of fear 
not enough to tame the flames that consume us

​

​I have not yet watched The Social Network on Netflix for the simple fact that I don't feel I need the existential dread of having to completely log out of my social media. This is mainly due to the fact that, yes, there is still a pandemic happening but also because engaging with this digital content helps me feel connected to something bigger. And no, I'm not going to lie when I say that there's also an element of escapism; it affords me the luxury of feeling like I've travelled or gone on holidays from the comfort of my home. Multiple times throughout winter I turned the heater on and streamed a moving live fire video to the television; with the flickering flames and sound of crackling wood making it feel like I'd gone on holiday to a cabin in the woods. More importantly, it allows me to continue talking to others, most of which had been out of my 5km radius up until now, with the ease in restrictions awarding us a new 25km circle of freedom. Hooray! To be completely honest though, I'd rather cosy up on the couch and watch the wonders of planet earth unfold as the familiar, soothing and grandparent voice of David Attenborough reminds us that "Nature is our greatest's asset." However, the continued hype regarding this digital Netflix documentary has helped me reassess the use of my phone and intake of the blaring 24-hour news cycle. And trust me when I first started looking at my screen time, I was shocked, it was as though I was magically carving out entirely new days that were just filled with social media time. As in, when I first checked my daily average it was 7-8 hours!! I was in every sense of the word: addicted. Unable to stop the incessant scrolling and beginning to no longer find enjoyment from the media I was viewing or reading but only this consistent babble and influx of songs, promotion & advertising and people saying "Hey, welcome back to my channel." In the next week, I began taking small steps to assess, editing and cull my screen time. After noticing many enlightening things from my behaviour, I realised that I really did have the desire to lower my screen time and attachment to social media; which I know is somewhat ironic cause this article will be shared through the medium itself, but when I decided this three weeks ago I made a commitment to myself. So, here are a few apps, tactics and techniques that I've used. The first section being apps or techniques I currently use now and have been using for a long time, that help with relaxation and disengaging from my social media, and the second section being new strategies and apps I have tried for 3 weeks now. So, without further ado, I present a myriad of miraculous solutions.

Verse 1
You haven’t been around very long
Struggling to fight through the yawns
But I don’t care this feeling feels so right
Lying on the grass late into night
Glimpses up to see the stars were fallin
Guess that’s something we have in common

Chorus
Oh, I can’t wait to fall in love
Followin the path from up above
Though this year’s been pretty rough
Ok. It sucks
But what kind of luck it was, to meet you

​“Meh, it’s ok”
Was my thought
On a Mid-March day
Left to occupy my last resort;
By collaging a girl
That looked slightly like me
With a bird flying off
Into the distance you see.
 
Meh, its ok
I have my own wonderland,
Alice left it behind
For me to command.
All the animals and buildings
Nature and change,
Send good vibes out
So I can imagine again.
It is ever changing
This strange place
That I visit
When the world feels out of place.

​Verse 1
There’s a million reasons I could write this one right now
Like the way you only want me to walk on the left side some how
Or the look in your eyes when you know you shouldn’t laugh at my jokes
Could be the smile that reminds me of what it was like to be young
Even the thought of a kiss, there’s so many ways this could be sung

At this point of 2020 it would be utterly redundant of me to say that this year has twisted our reality, turned it inside out and left us out to wring dry. I think we know that already. The fact of the matter is every single human on earth has been affected by the coronavirus pandemic – it is unquestionable. We’ve lost our routines, jobs, face-to-face connections, our financial security. In some ways, we’ve had to start from the ground up, take an introspective look at ourselves and figure out how the fuck we’re supposed to get through this.

Verse 1          
There was a spark you can’t deny
Couldn’t look away from your eyes
But who would want to
Was this love at the sight of you?
 
Dived into the shallow end
No splash but found a friend
I guess that’s pretty cool
Both swimming in the same pool